surprised

HUGE smile on my face right now... :) It looks something like this, but the only difference is, I'm sitting on a couch in my living room right now, and this is in a tunnel in a castle...only difference.

My apologies to those SO dear to me that have been reading this - I had no idea anyone knew about my blog (* cough* Andrew and Hope *cough*), so I thought I could play off being anonymous, but alas! I cannot. Thanks guys :)

Just got home from an amazing weekend in Budapest - what an AMAZING God we serve. I am so thankful for the encouragement this whole week, particularly this weekend. Reminded about the calling that God has on my life and even though it's clouded at times and I question whether or not I really heard God right in the first place, He has been reminding me over and over that He was being loud and clear all along. And who am I to doubt the God of the universe?

It's funny, you go through something tough and you forget that God is holding you all along the way and He never lets go. He is with us and He is in the next step and He is ahead of us cheering us on and calling us forward. Even before all of it - He knew and He knew everything about every part of us and how overwhelming is that? How overwhelming is that love? How overwhelming is it to know that God sees us through all of the times we turn away and think that He doesn't know what's good for us and yet He is always reaching out His hand asking us to just grab hold. It doesn't mean it's easy, oh no...because how often do we find that it isn't? Probably more than we feel comfortable with. I know that stepping out in faith to come here was the only way I could do this - grabbing hold of that never-ending grip. Months before, I had been so upset and I turned away from that hand. I could do it on my own, I thought. The more and more upset I got, I barely saw that hand, because I chose not to...but I knew exactly what I was doing. But then that whisper. The one that comes when everything else around you is so loud and distracting. You think you can barely hear it. But that whisper, that voice, it's the only one that actually makes sense and the only one you actually want to hear. He called. He grabbed my hand that could barely hold on...and He pulled me up. He says, " You're worthy...and I won't ever let you go".

In the words of my dear friend Bekah, "God doesn't wait for us to get everything together before He uses us, " boy, does that ever ring true. How many times do we see people in the Bible, what we see to be the most unlikely people, being called to be used by God in the craziest ways?! Yes, that is all of us. But guess what? God doesn't see us as unlikely - how beautiful is that? I love that verse in 1 Samuel 16:7 : " For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. " True love sees us for who we are meant to be, and that true love is God. God sees us for the people He has created us to be. Wow, huh??

Okay, I need to go do lesson plans...6 classes in a row tomorrow - sheesh! I became that teacher too - the one who gives 4 quizzes on the same day teacher...yep, I became her. haha But these thoughts are swirling and twirling around in this head amongst many others. Thanks for actually reading this for those of you who do. And for those of you back home, I will be sending out all of my contact info/pictures soon. But be loved and get your 4 hugs a day for survival - they're important...fo' real. And know how much I am thinking of you all from across the sea/land/ every natural land barrier away....I miss you.

P.S. - Hope Aswell, I put the puzzle together the second I got it :) You are amazing.